I got pretty much affected by her words that every little thing started to upset me. There were countless of times in the past but they weren't a direct attack. I filtered her words out every time.This time, it was too much.
It has come to the point where I didn't want to do things that make me unhappy, or even interact with anyone that has this hidden motive of wanting to bring me down.
I just. want to do things that make me happy. No more doing this and that just for the sake of doing it.
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Did I ever say this? I didn't managed to help out on the 2nd day of Chingay.
While I was doing duty during the 1st day, I received a text saying my grandpa passed away. At that point of time, everything at Chingay was hectic. I hastily read it, tried to compose myself and continue doing my job.
When it ended, I read it again. I don't know what I was feeling. Emptiness? Regret? I didn't manage to spend much time with him when he was still alive (because of certain issues). He was the last grandparent I ever had. When I found out how he died, I was really sad. I guess he wanted freedom so much that he had to climb out of the window to get out of the house (i am glad it was second floor and not anything higher). They said he had a smile on when they found him on the ground....
When my parents grow old.. I won't let them feel "trapped" in their own house. I'll bring them out for morning walks, grocery shopping.. anything that involves them to do something outside.
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